this is how my brain works

I like making quick decisions because I hate wasting time. Y'see, whenever you've gotta make a hard choice, it's not like thinking about it much will actually get you anywhere. Once you've thought it all out and talked to people, there's nothing more to do (besides maybe pray and wait). Sitting on it for longer is just killing time. Besides, if the decision's that hard, that means the choices are about even anyways. And if the decision's hard, who can blame you for going either way if it comes out wrong? Best just to save some time and decide quickly, then use the time you saved to work at whatever it is you're doing.

I try to spend my time right. I try not to make entertainment my default time-filler because there's too much work left to do. It's like playing video games when there's a starving kid next to you, only he's not next to you. It's not like I spend my days painfully grinding out productivity, though. Actually, I find it really hard to do anything productive if it isn't vaguely fun or really urgent. I think there's always a way to do good that fits who you are. I like reading certain books, getting slightly better at piano, talking with people, and reading the bible and praying. If I played video games for hours at a time again, I'd feel really empty. Not that I'm not tempted. I yearn to play FFVII. It's kinda a good thing I don't actually own a copy.

I don't think God's gifts to people are talent or easy learning. Well, of course, that's one way to be gifted. But I think the best kind of gift is being able to enjoy something. If you're good at things, it's useful, but I would rather be a janitor who loves his job than a neurosurgeon who's just kinda drifting. Haha. I'm sure it's pretty hard to drift into neurosurgery. I think you get the point.

It makes me think of a xanga entry I read once, a while ago. It was Leon talking about how he wasn't fantastic at anything. He picks things up really quickly, but he's got no skills that stand out. I think the problem wasn't that he wasn't good enough at things... I think he just never found something he loved enough to get really good at it.

My suitemate Joe plays electric guitar for a few hours every day. He's played for two years now, I think, and he's really really good. It's not like he's trying to get some skills to impress the ladies. He just loves playing guitar so much that he got good at it in the process. It makes me wish I enjoyed something so much I'd spend hours on it every day. I do like piano. A few hours a day is tough. I also really like acoustic guitar. I really like random fiddling on acoustic guitars (I like listening to Haley play with his), but it just feels awkward whenever I try to learn. Piano is nice and simple. Just pressing buttons. I'd love to be able to improv piano. I'd also love to be able to play this one piece:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4FQaDQbwoE

Then I'd die happy.